The Terrible Two’s: Tongue and Temper
by Bill Rudge
Many lives have been ruined, families devastated, reputations destroyed, and churches split by the "terrible two's" of tongue and temper. If only the people would have manifested the fruit of the spirit of self-control instead of fleshly outbursts of anger or paused to ponder the consequences before engaging in gossip, much misery and humiliation could have been avoided.
Words are like arrows shot from a bow –– once they are released they can never be taken back. That is why Scripture cautions us to guard our tongues and speak words of wisdom and healing instead of words of foolishness and hurt.
Equally as devastating as gossip are outbursts of anger. Ephesians 4:26 tells us: "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." It is what you do with your anger –– how you respond –– that determines whether you sin or not and whether you honor the Lord or bring reproach on His name.
If God's Spirit dwells within you. then you know when you are crossing the line from righteous indignation and intensity of emotion for a just cause, to immature temper tantrums, and manipulative and vindictive behavior. You also know in your heart when profitable conversation descends into gossip or negative criticism.
Use It or Lose It
A principle I use when teaching self-defense or developing new exercise routines and nutritional protocols is: "If it works, use it; if it doesn't, lose it." A similar principle to implement regarding conversations, behavior, and relationships is: "If it is beneficial, proceed; if it is unprofitable, take heed. If it honors the Lord, enjoy it; if it dishonors Him, destroy it."
Remember, every believer will give an account of every word we speak, as well as the motives of our hearts. So strive to be wise and controlled concerning your words and behavior. Care more about His name and your testimony than getting revenge by bullying with words or undermining someone behind their back.
Also, be sure to communicate clearly. Many problems that escalate into hostility and revenge often stem from miscommunications and misunderstandings. In an effort to resolve needless conflicts before they get out of control, be sure to communicate clearly and be certain you understand what the other person meant. If something was said or done that challenges your integrity and warrants a response, the biblical pattern is to initially deal with the offending person face to face.
As far as possible, avoid aggressive words and behavior and attempt to live peaceably with everyone. The apostle Paul admonishes believers, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" (Romans 12:18).
Additional information on this topic can be obtained by requesting Bill's pamphlet The Power of Words –– Are Yours Helpful or Hurtful?
